Don't buy exercise clothes from the dollar store
I was so proud of myself last week. I exercised every day, sometimes more than once, and I wrote about each new experience I had. In 8 short days, I had become a Person Who Exercises. Everything that is supposed to happen was happening: my mood was better, I had more energy, my skin was glowing, and I felt stronger. I vowed to carry my exercise habit into the school year, and friends were asking me if I would be doing a Hometown YMCA Challenge Blog next.
And then it all unraveled, starting with a pair of Exercise Capris from the Dollar Store.
I've always been a little skeptical of the "athleisure" trend. Word blends are annoying and I can't wear multi-colored spandex capris with mesh side cutouts to work. Any spare cash I have goes toward finding Appropriately Boring Teacher Outfits. I'm envious of the Workout Moms who rush out of Barre Piyo Crossfit to pick their kids up at school in their PowerLite Gia Fabletics Capris. They look hot and I look frumpy and tired.
I brought all of my workout clothes to Maine. This means that I brought one pair of cotton capris from Target and one pair of cotton bike shorts. Last week, I took the girls to the Dollar Store to buy some bandaids, and some striped purple capris caught my eye.
These are fancy workout pants, I thought. These are fancy workout pants that cost $7.99. Sold.
Day 8: 5 pm Work Out To The Max
I spend most of Monday afternoon gearing up for 5 pm Work Out To The Max. If Week 1 was about Just Showing Up, I've told myself that Week 2 is about Showing Up in the Afternoon.
Showing Up in the Afternoon is important. Now that I know I want to keep exercising, I've spent a lot of time wondering when I will actually get this done. Some of it is going to have to be in the evenings, after a long day, when I'm exhausted and feel like I'd rather call it quits and put on my pajamas. This summer has also taught me that attending classes works for me. At-home workouts are super trendy right now, but a couple of summers ago I tried P90X and ended up watching the videos in a horizontal position from the comfort of my bed.
So as I cross the bridge from Southport into Boothbay, in my Fancy Purple Striped Dollar Store Workout Capris, I'm already proud of myself for making it out the door. It is past 4:00 and I am still in this game.
The parking lot is packed. Tara of Saturday Yoga is running this class, and there is only one other participant in it, which seems odd considering all the cars until I remember that Monday night is Open Gym Basketball. As class starts, I realize that what I'm witnessing in the weight area adjacent to the studio is Fitness Dating Game. The boys are all shirtless and sweaty, and the girls are sort of wandering around talking to each other and going on their phones in between doing some squats and weights and admiring their Bikini Bodies in the mirrors. From what I can tell, they are all wearing Athleisure.
Class starts, and Tara guides us in some good old fashioned Jane Fonda aerobics moves. It takes approximately 3 minutes for me to realize why you should never, ever buy exercise clothes from the Dollar Store.
Problem #1: Whatever this material is, it's about as breathable as if I wrapped myself in duct tape. The capris feel like I used a Pinterest DIY post to craft them out of used Hannafords Grocery Bags. Problem #2 These capris are see through. Yes, those are my underpants I can see through these capris, and it is worse in the rear. Problem #3: They are sagging in the crotch which means in between awkwardly attempting kickboxing moves, I'm also hiking up my pants a la Steve Urkel. Problem #4: Instead of shading the pants from dark purple stripes on the butt to light purple stripes on the calves, which I suppose would have had the visual effect of my butt and my legs having sort of the same width, the design geniuses behind these capris reversed the stripes. We've moved on to squats when I notice that not only is my underwear showing, my butt also looks like a giant lavender beacon of light. Keep doing those squats, it beckons to the Bikini Girls next door, or you'll wind up like me, with your underwear showing through your saggy capris.
The Capri Problems seem to get worse as class goes on, and my mind follows suit. I'm tired. I'm uncomfortable. How am I going to do this once school starts? I'm not going to be able to do this once school starts. I look so stupid. I'm never going to be able to take all the classes at the Boothbay Harbor YMCA. This was a stupid idea and I am stupid for trying to do it.
Class finishes and I rush to the parking lot, get in the car, and contemplate taking off the capris and driving home in my underwear. Everyone's already seen them already, right?
Tuesday is Lucy's birthday. We wake up early for breakfast and she opens some of her presents. We realize the poison ivy she got over the weekend is getting worse and her pediatrician directs us to Urgent Care when sailing lets out at 4. We pop through the ER, get some steroids, and celebrate Lucy's birthday with dinner at her favorite downtown restaurant. Afternoon comes and goes, and I don't make it to the YMCA.
Wednesday morning I take Ava to an appointment in Portland. We don't get home until noon, and after sailing ends I attend a meeting about some Opti races coming up. I miss all the available classes. Afternoon comes and goes, and I don't make it to the YMCA.
Wednesday evening feels like a hailstorm of logistical nightmares. I find out one of my favorite coworkers is leaving my school, I can't figure out where to house guests that are coming in a few weeks, and I don't know how to register the girls for their races. I've been working on an intense project for work, and I can't find my way through how I will organize my students and how I will roll out the lessons. I distract myself by looking at the YMCA schedule for home, only to see that most of the classes happen while I'm at work. I'm never going to be able to keep this up, I think. I'm hitting wall after wall after wall. Everything is horrible. I call it quits and open a bottle of wine.
Thursday morning I wake up late, missing Advanced Yoga and Pilates. The only option is Boothbay Bootcamp which I've already done. Everything is already derailed, I think. I'm not going.
And then it all unraveled, starting with a pair of Exercise Capris from the Dollar Store.
I've always been a little skeptical of the "athleisure" trend. Word blends are annoying and I can't wear multi-colored spandex capris with mesh side cutouts to work. Any spare cash I have goes toward finding Appropriately Boring Teacher Outfits. I'm envious of the Workout Moms who rush out of Barre Piyo Crossfit to pick their kids up at school in their PowerLite Gia Fabletics Capris. They look hot and I look frumpy and tired.
I brought all of my workout clothes to Maine. This means that I brought one pair of cotton capris from Target and one pair of cotton bike shorts. Last week, I took the girls to the Dollar Store to buy some bandaids, and some striped purple capris caught my eye.
These are fancy workout pants, I thought. These are fancy workout pants that cost $7.99. Sold.
Day 8: 5 pm Work Out To The Max
I spend most of Monday afternoon gearing up for 5 pm Work Out To The Max. If Week 1 was about Just Showing Up, I've told myself that Week 2 is about Showing Up in the Afternoon.
Showing Up in the Afternoon is important. Now that I know I want to keep exercising, I've spent a lot of time wondering when I will actually get this done. Some of it is going to have to be in the evenings, after a long day, when I'm exhausted and feel like I'd rather call it quits and put on my pajamas. This summer has also taught me that attending classes works for me. At-home workouts are super trendy right now, but a couple of summers ago I tried P90X and ended up watching the videos in a horizontal position from the comfort of my bed.
So as I cross the bridge from Southport into Boothbay, in my Fancy Purple Striped Dollar Store Workout Capris, I'm already proud of myself for making it out the door. It is past 4:00 and I am still in this game.
The parking lot is packed. Tara of Saturday Yoga is running this class, and there is only one other participant in it, which seems odd considering all the cars until I remember that Monday night is Open Gym Basketball. As class starts, I realize that what I'm witnessing in the weight area adjacent to the studio is Fitness Dating Game. The boys are all shirtless and sweaty, and the girls are sort of wandering around talking to each other and going on their phones in between doing some squats and weights and admiring their Bikini Bodies in the mirrors. From what I can tell, they are all wearing Athleisure.
Class starts, and Tara guides us in some good old fashioned Jane Fonda aerobics moves. It takes approximately 3 minutes for me to realize why you should never, ever buy exercise clothes from the Dollar Store.
Problem #1: Whatever this material is, it's about as breathable as if I wrapped myself in duct tape. The capris feel like I used a Pinterest DIY post to craft them out of used Hannafords Grocery Bags. Problem #2 These capris are see through. Yes, those are my underpants I can see through these capris, and it is worse in the rear. Problem #3: They are sagging in the crotch which means in between awkwardly attempting kickboxing moves, I'm also hiking up my pants a la Steve Urkel. Problem #4: Instead of shading the pants from dark purple stripes on the butt to light purple stripes on the calves, which I suppose would have had the visual effect of my butt and my legs having sort of the same width, the design geniuses behind these capris reversed the stripes. We've moved on to squats when I notice that not only is my underwear showing, my butt also looks like a giant lavender beacon of light. Keep doing those squats, it beckons to the Bikini Girls next door, or you'll wind up like me, with your underwear showing through your saggy capris.
The Capri Problems seem to get worse as class goes on, and my mind follows suit. I'm tired. I'm uncomfortable. How am I going to do this once school starts? I'm not going to be able to do this once school starts. I look so stupid. I'm never going to be able to take all the classes at the Boothbay Harbor YMCA. This was a stupid idea and I am stupid for trying to do it.
Class finishes and I rush to the parking lot, get in the car, and contemplate taking off the capris and driving home in my underwear. Everyone's already seen them already, right?
Tuesday is Lucy's birthday. We wake up early for breakfast and she opens some of her presents. We realize the poison ivy she got over the weekend is getting worse and her pediatrician directs us to Urgent Care when sailing lets out at 4. We pop through the ER, get some steroids, and celebrate Lucy's birthday with dinner at her favorite downtown restaurant. Afternoon comes and goes, and I don't make it to the YMCA.
Wednesday morning I take Ava to an appointment in Portland. We don't get home until noon, and after sailing ends I attend a meeting about some Opti races coming up. I miss all the available classes. Afternoon comes and goes, and I don't make it to the YMCA.
Wednesday evening feels like a hailstorm of logistical nightmares. I find out one of my favorite coworkers is leaving my school, I can't figure out where to house guests that are coming in a few weeks, and I don't know how to register the girls for their races. I've been working on an intense project for work, and I can't find my way through how I will organize my students and how I will roll out the lessons. I distract myself by looking at the YMCA schedule for home, only to see that most of the classes happen while I'm at work. I'm never going to be able to keep this up, I think. I'm hitting wall after wall after wall. Everything is horrible. I call it quits and open a bottle of wine.
Thursday morning I wake up late, missing Advanced Yoga and Pilates. The only option is Boothbay Bootcamp which I've already done. Everything is already derailed, I think. I'm not going.
I get out of bed. I put on my cotton capris from Target. I find my socks. I put on my sneakers. I drive to the Boothbay Harbor YMCA.
Boothbay Bootcamp begins and I feel like I'm dying. How is it possible that in 48 hours I got this out of shape again?
We are doing the exact same kickboxing aerobics combination that last time made me feel like Elaine at the Company Party when I notice I'm a little bit better at sashaying side to side and jab-punching. A little bit. A little, tiny bit. And it's when I'm successfully balancing during some lunges that it hits me.
There's no such thing as a $7.99 solution.
Anything that's easy and cheap isn't going to work. Getting into shape, figuring out my life, managing my work, all of it: if I want to do it right it's going to be a slow and time-expensive investment. I'm going to have to work at it every day and it's not going to happen overnight. When it feels like I'm wrapped in duct tape, when my underwear is showing, when I miss a few days because the logistics are overwhelming, I'm going to have to figure out what I need to do to make it happen and get back at it.
Class ends, I thank Catherine, and head to my car. I drive home exhausted and browse the internet for some Athleisure.
Dont give up :)
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