Yoga, the right way
I didn't get to write a post on Friday, but I did attend Friday's Total Body Challenge at 5:30 am. I started to feel less like an awkward outsider and more like the new kid in class and I chuckled while some of my classmates groaned or harassed each other to lift their core during Meagan's rapid-fire program of jumping jacks, weights, and sit-ups.
The girls joined me for Aqua Combo at 8 am, which is another brand of Water Aerobics in the cold pool. We stayed for a swim in the Mermaid Pool and chatted with some of my Mermaid Friends; I learned that one Mermaid is a former grade 7 teacher, and the other had her babies at Beverly Hospital like I did.
My friends Jen and Scott arrived on Southport at dinner time, and the girls and I went over for a visit. Because I am ridiculously awkward, I somehow managed to scrape my leg on the side of a piece of furniture while also sort of tumbling head first into a bookcase.
"It's ok," I joked with Jen, "I'll put it in the blog."
We both laughed but secretly I was wondering what more I could find to write about. Maybe the learning was all over for me.
Day 6: 9:00 am Yoga, Core & More
I wake up on Saturday morning wanting two things: coffee and my copy of the Boothbay Harbor YMCA Schedule. It feels so odd to me to wake up wanting to exercise, but I guess this is who I am now.
There are three offerings today: Zumba, Cycling, or Yoga, Core & More. Cycling is out. After last week I've vowed to put myself on the remedial track for that; look out for an Easy Rider Cycling Post coming soon. I ask the girls about Zumba but they want to do that during the week.
So that leaves Yoga, Core & More, and I am really not into it. I bring a lot of baggage to the Yoga Mat.
Admit you don't like Yoga to a certain kind of person and she will look at you like you just said you think more people should pollute the environment. "You should really do yoga", she will say, in a tone that means, "How sad for you that you don't aspire to reach the nirvana I've achieved by balancing for hours in the Standing Arrow Pose. Such a shame." She will toss her fancy yoga mat on the ground and remain in her fancy yoga clothes for hours, just so that you may behold the wisdom of her recently stretched limbs.
So it's not as much that I've had a few embarrassing experiences hanging out too long in a Downward Dog with my awkward butt in the air while everyone else has moved on to Rolling Snail. It's not that I trip over furniture and have no grace. It's not that I can't quiet my mind for more than half a second. (Ok, maybe it's a lot of those things.) But mainly it's that for too long I've allowed myself to feel like I was never going to "get" Yoga in the same way that the Yoga Queens do. I wasn't going to be able to quiet my mind, I wasn't going to look graceful and evolved in the poses, and I wouldn't walk out of the class with my mind completely cleared. I would fail yoga, and it would mean that there was something wrong with me.
I confessed all of this recently to my friend Kelly. Kelly likes yoga and is also one of the most genuinely real people I've ever known. Kelly said, "Stacy, anyone who acts judgmental about yoga doesn't really understand yoga at all! Yoga isn't about being superior to anyone else. Yoga is about whatever you need it to be about."
Nevertheless, I arrive at Yoga, Core & More feeling worried. Worried that I'll feel nothing enlightening while doing Yoga, worried that I'll be bored, and worst of all, worried that I won't find anything to write about.
Instructor Tara tells us to get a mat, weights, and a squishy ball. She's putting on a microphone so we can hear her over the loud fans in the gym. She's also cueing up this really funky music. This must be what the "& More" part of the class is.
Tara guides us through some stretches and core work. She says things like "Try, if you can, to squeeze these muscles in your abdomen" or "if you want, leave your legs here, or lift them this way" and a lot of "good job." A whole lot of "good job." I push myself into all the stretches because they feel really good or sometimes hurt in a way that feels really right. I feel a set of muscles in my abdomen I didn't even know I had.
I'm sure I'm supposed to be meditating, but that's not really me, so I'm thinking a lot, too, about Maine, my job, the kids, and all sorts of stuff.
We are laying on the mat in a deep twisting side stretch when Tara says something like, "Just kind of let your mind wander wherever it wants to go." Wait, really? Hold up. I'm allowed to just think, about whatever I want, while I'm doing yoga? You mean I'm doing this Yoga thing right after all?
This hits me so hard that when we move into child's pose I find myself crying tiny tears of joy for the second time this summer at the Boothbay Harbor YMCA.
Don't worry, I hear a voice inside me say. I have so much more to tell you. There's going to be lots of stuff to put in the blog.
Class ends, I thank Tara, and spend the rest of the weekend in a state of Yoga Bliss.
The girls joined me for Aqua Combo at 8 am, which is another brand of Water Aerobics in the cold pool. We stayed for a swim in the Mermaid Pool and chatted with some of my Mermaid Friends; I learned that one Mermaid is a former grade 7 teacher, and the other had her babies at Beverly Hospital like I did.
My friends Jen and Scott arrived on Southport at dinner time, and the girls and I went over for a visit. Because I am ridiculously awkward, I somehow managed to scrape my leg on the side of a piece of furniture while also sort of tumbling head first into a bookcase.
"It's ok," I joked with Jen, "I'll put it in the blog."
We both laughed but secretly I was wondering what more I could find to write about. Maybe the learning was all over for me.
Day 6: 9:00 am Yoga, Core & More
I wake up on Saturday morning wanting two things: coffee and my copy of the Boothbay Harbor YMCA Schedule. It feels so odd to me to wake up wanting to exercise, but I guess this is who I am now.
There are three offerings today: Zumba, Cycling, or Yoga, Core & More. Cycling is out. After last week I've vowed to put myself on the remedial track for that; look out for an Easy Rider Cycling Post coming soon. I ask the girls about Zumba but they want to do that during the week.
So that leaves Yoga, Core & More, and I am really not into it. I bring a lot of baggage to the Yoga Mat.
Admit you don't like Yoga to a certain kind of person and she will look at you like you just said you think more people should pollute the environment. "You should really do yoga", she will say, in a tone that means, "How sad for you that you don't aspire to reach the nirvana I've achieved by balancing for hours in the Standing Arrow Pose. Such a shame." She will toss her fancy yoga mat on the ground and remain in her fancy yoga clothes for hours, just so that you may behold the wisdom of her recently stretched limbs.
So it's not as much that I've had a few embarrassing experiences hanging out too long in a Downward Dog with my awkward butt in the air while everyone else has moved on to Rolling Snail. It's not that I trip over furniture and have no grace. It's not that I can't quiet my mind for more than half a second. (Ok, maybe it's a lot of those things.) But mainly it's that for too long I've allowed myself to feel like I was never going to "get" Yoga in the same way that the Yoga Queens do. I wasn't going to be able to quiet my mind, I wasn't going to look graceful and evolved in the poses, and I wouldn't walk out of the class with my mind completely cleared. I would fail yoga, and it would mean that there was something wrong with me.
I confessed all of this recently to my friend Kelly. Kelly likes yoga and is also one of the most genuinely real people I've ever known. Kelly said, "Stacy, anyone who acts judgmental about yoga doesn't really understand yoga at all! Yoga isn't about being superior to anyone else. Yoga is about whatever you need it to be about."
Nevertheless, I arrive at Yoga, Core & More feeling worried. Worried that I'll feel nothing enlightening while doing Yoga, worried that I'll be bored, and worst of all, worried that I won't find anything to write about.
Instructor Tara tells us to get a mat, weights, and a squishy ball. She's putting on a microphone so we can hear her over the loud fans in the gym. She's also cueing up this really funky music. This must be what the "& More" part of the class is.
Tara guides us through some stretches and core work. She says things like "Try, if you can, to squeeze these muscles in your abdomen" or "if you want, leave your legs here, or lift them this way" and a lot of "good job." A whole lot of "good job." I push myself into all the stretches because they feel really good or sometimes hurt in a way that feels really right. I feel a set of muscles in my abdomen I didn't even know I had.
I'm sure I'm supposed to be meditating, but that's not really me, so I'm thinking a lot, too, about Maine, my job, the kids, and all sorts of stuff.
We are laying on the mat in a deep twisting side stretch when Tara says something like, "Just kind of let your mind wander wherever it wants to go." Wait, really? Hold up. I'm allowed to just think, about whatever I want, while I'm doing yoga? You mean I'm doing this Yoga thing right after all?
This hits me so hard that when we move into child's pose I find myself crying tiny tears of joy for the second time this summer at the Boothbay Harbor YMCA.
Don't worry, I hear a voice inside me say. I have so much more to tell you. There's going to be lots of stuff to put in the blog.
Class ends, I thank Tara, and spend the rest of the weekend in a state of Yoga Bliss.
That is exactly how I feel about yoga, too. Glad I am not alone in this. I absolutely cannot quiet my mind!
ReplyDeleteI had one yoga teacher who was all "shhhhhh! your minds" and I was like, "SHHHH YOURSELF" - yoga for me is all about the physical calmness which some day (maybe) might lead to actual meditation and mental serenity. For now, I create THE BEST to do lists during my savasana.
ReplyDeleteYoga is whatever you want/need it to be. Some people meditate and "do it perfectly", while the rest of us use it to stretch and tone and twist, while our mind safely explores topics that it never gets to explore because we're so busy doing other crap. I'm so glad you were able to enjoy it for what your mind/body want it to be :)
ReplyDelete